I read a story on the internet today about a pair of tortoises, Bibi and Poldi.\u00a0 According to the story, Bibi and Poldi grew up together and eventually became\u00a0a tortoise couple They’ve been together for 115 years, until recently that is.\u00a0 Apparently something has happened to drive a wedge between the romantic reptiles.\u00a0 As I read the article I found myself dwelling on what might have happened to split up the happy couple.\u00a0 This is what I’ve come up with:<\/p>\n
10.\u00a0 Poldi finally decided to tell Bibi he didn’t like her vegan meatloaf.<\/p>\n
9.\u00a0\u00a0Bibi announced that after 115 years of doing all the cooking it was Poldi’s turn to cook . Poldi said forget it!<\/p>\n
8.\u00a0\u00a0Having heard each other’s stories well over 100 times, solitude was better.<\/p>\n
7.\u00a0\u00a0After a century of her being a little bit country and him being a little bit rock and roll, they just didn’t want to make music together anymore.<\/p>\n
6.\u00a0\u00a0Poldi mistakenly admitted that shell made Bibi look fat.<\/p>\n
5.\u00a0\u00a0Both Bibi and Poldi blamed each other for their poor performance during the Comcast auditions, which led to the Slowskys becoming the spokestortoises.<\/p>\n
4.\u00a0\u00a0Bibi finally got tired of Poldi flirting with every female zookeeper assigned to the reptile house.<\/p>\n
3.\u00a0\u00a0After working up the nerve for the last 100 years, Poldi finally asked Bibi if she would be interested in a three-way.<\/p>\n
2.\u00a0\u00a0Bibi announced that she wanted to explore her feelings for the other female tortoise at the zoo.<\/p>\n
And the number one reason that tortoises separate?<\/p>\n
1.\u00a0\u00a0Poldi caught Bibi secretly reading “Fifty Shades of Grey.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I read a story on the internet today about a pair of tortoises, Bibi and Poldi.\u00a0 According to the story, Bibi and Poldi grew up together and eventually became\u00a0a tortoise couple They’ve been together for 115 years, until recently that … Continue reading